Stare Into Space

I Sat Through That? King Kong

Posted on | November 16, 2009 | Comments Off on I Sat Through That? King Kong

Peter, bloody, Jackson and his bloody interminable, CGI-filled epics.  After taking up an entire day of my life with those annoying little Hobbit bastards, he then nicks another portion of it with this: King Kong.

“Pah!” I say, “Pah!”

I Sat Through That? – King Kong.

Mega(lithic)

Posted on | November 13, 2009 | Comments Off on Mega(lithic)

Took to the hills again the other day.  A pleasant walk in North Wicklow around the Dublin border.  Two neighbouring hills – Seefin and Seefingin.  Each has a megalithic tomb on the top (or just off the summit if you want to be pedantic) and quite splendid they are too.

Seefin is the most impressive as it’s the most intact.  Its passageway is more or less undamaged and you can see through its narrow aisle from its, rather splendid, doorway.

stareseefin

My brother, who accompanied me on the excursion, has researched this and tells me that the tomb was examined properly in 1932 or ’33 but anything interesting had long-since been nicked.  Bloody Indiana Jones.

As is normal for Ireland, the day was grey and overcast.  We did escape rain, although the going was boggy in places.  Seefin’s sibling, Seefingin was only another kilometer or two and also boasts a cairn.  The area around here is well stocked with neolithic tombs, stones, markers, barrows, and whatnot.  To prove it, here’s the view from Seefingin to yet another hill with yet another cairn.

stareseefingin

Tea and sandwiches in the forest on the way back before a trek through a very, very rough forest track and home to curry and beer.

Another successful day.  More photos here if you’re sad enough to be interested.

I Sat Through That – What’s wrong with X-Men

Posted on | November 4, 2009 | Comments Off on I Sat Through That – What’s wrong with X-Men

What’s wrong with X-Men?  That must be a good Scrabble score.  If I can work in ‘quixotic’ I’ll have this game wrapped up.

But I digress.  Having been subjected to a month or more of X-Men films on most of the eighty channels my TV receives, it’s dawned on me why they’re shit.

Wanna know my thoughts?

Run to the hills

Posted on | October 31, 2009 | 2 Comments

My heart is gladdened.  This week, after an absence of a number of months, I managed to get back to the hills again.  A few months back I tore ligaments in my ankle and was forced out for a bit.  While my ankle still hurts a little if stretched in certain directions, I deemed it hike-worthy and on Wednesday, the brother and I set off for Tonelagee.

The weather was reasonable (for Ireland).  Overcast for the most part and a bit of a breeze.  Good walking weather.  The going was steep and exceedingly boggy in places – ankle deep at times. Not a long walk, but good views and an interesting standing stone, inscribed with a cross.

Enjoyed it immensely.  Glad to be back.  Some more images over at my PicasaWeb.

I Sat Through That? The Matrix Revolutions

Posted on | October 19, 2009 | 2 Comments

The shitty Matrix… No, the other one… Yeah, the third one.  What?  Yeah, I know the second one’s shite too but at least it had a bit of actual ‘matrix’ in it.  What’s that you say?  The first one’s shite too?  Well, with the benefit of hindsight it’s not the best film ever but I’ll give it a pass – I enjoyed it at the time.  Not like this drivel.

I Sat Through That? The Matrix Revolutions (the third one) – the Wachowskis stick a rancid, faeces-filled cherry on top.

Little Nicky Cave

Posted on | October 19, 2009 | Comments Off on Little Nicky Cave

I had the very good fortune to get to see Nick Cave last week.  It was billed as ‘an evening of readings, music and conversation with Nick Cave’.

And that’s what we got.

Cave has a new book out – The Death Of Bunny Munroe and the evening opened with him doing a reading.  Then to some music (with Martyn Casey and Warren Ellis from The Bad Seeds/Grinderman).  And quite splendid music it was too.  Take a ganders at the video below.  Seems some bloke spent most of the night videoing the thing.  I find this very slightly odd but it does mean that I get to have another look/listen.

Here’s Cave and the boys with Lime Tree Arbour:

As it turns out, there was a conspicuous (and odd) lack of annoying people in the audience too.  There were three idiot-women in the balcony who danced, out of time, with pretty much everything but they were distant and unobtrusive.  The audience was quiet and respectful which was lucky as the music and atmosphere was soft and understated.

All told, an excellent evening.

Apart from the fact that the chip shop was closed by the time we left the pub later.  Can’t have everything I suppose.

I Sat Through That? – Two For The Price Of One

Posted on | October 12, 2009 | Comments Off on I Sat Through That? – Two For The Price Of One

I didn’t update last week – for good reasons that I won’t go into here.  However, last Monday’s I Sat Through That? had already been submitted before last week and, as things got back to something resembling normality this weekend, I submitted this week’s column too.  You therefore get two updates here today.  Whoop-de-doo, eh?

Last week:  Mission Impossible: 2 – John Woo’s slow-motion steamer.  Doves?  Doves?  What?

This week:  Quantum Of Solace in which Daniel Craig desperately, frantically, tries to hold it together under enormous directorial and script pressures to suck.

I Sat Through That – 88 Minutes

Posted on | September 28, 2009 | Comments Off on I Sat Through That – 88 Minutes

An absolute masterclass in how not to write a screenplay.  Everything about it is bad.  If you’re a writer, watch 88 minutes and make sure you never do anything like it.

It is that bad.

88 Minutes.  It really is bad.

I Sat Through That? – Deep Impact

Posted on | September 21, 2009 | 1 Comment

No, not Armageddon, the other one.  You know, the one with Morgan Freeman as president.  I wonder did they want to see his birth certificate.  In reality, if Morgan Freeman were president and was trying to save the earth from a catastrophic cosmic impact capable of destroying all life, the streets would be full of protesting Republicans decrying his efforts and calling him green or red or pinko – but not black, never black, they don’t mention the war.  In reality, they’d be doing everything to thwart his efforts to save the planet from its fiery fate and saying things like “Well they tried saving the planet in Europe and I heard that, now, they have to go before a Death Panel if they have a toothache and that they’re forcibly impregnated just so they can be made to have abortions – even the men.  Naw, we don’t want no pinko planet-saving ’round here.”

Fucking morons.

Anyway, enough of contemporary problems.  Relive some misery from ten years ago instead.  Deep Impact.

Downside

Posted on | September 20, 2009 | 6 Comments

I have lost weight.  The paunch is gone and, while I’m no ripped, six-packed, hunk, I am, at least, no longer a podgy hunk.  I accomplished this feat through my Astonishing Weight-Loss System which is basically not eating so much shit and not drinking so much beer.  I wonder if I could pad it out into a self-help book.

Were I to do so however, I would feel it necessary to include a chapter on the downside of losing weight.

I have to go buy new trousers.

All my damn trousers are based around tubby-boy and now look ridiculous, belted tightly around my, newly-discovered, waist.  New trousers and new belts are required.  I liked some of those trousers.  To make matters worse, the event that kicked-off this flab-fighting was having to buy a new suit to go to a wedding.  Do you think that big suit’s going to fit me now?  It’ll look like clown trousers.  I could get some braces and pop a hula-hoop through the belt loops of it.

Weight-loss.  Know the risks.  Always consult your tailor.

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Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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