Stare Into Space

I Sat Through That – What’s wrong with X-Men

What’s wrong with X-Men?  That must be a good Scrabble score.  If I can work in ‘quixotic’ I’ll have this game wrapped up. But I digress.  Having been subjected to a month or more of X-Men films on most of the eighty channels my TV receives, it’s dawned on me why they’re shit. Wanna know […]

I Sat Through That? The Matrix Revolutions

The shitty Matrix… No, the other one… Yeah, the third one.  What?  Yeah, I know the second one’s shite too but at least it had a bit of actual ‘matrix’ in it.  What’s that you say?  The first one’s shite too?  Well, with the benefit of hindsight it’s not the best film ever but I’ll […]

I Sat Through That? – Two For The Price Of One

I didn’t update last week – for good reasons that I won’t go into here.  However, last Monday’s I Sat Through That? had already been submitted before last week and, as things got back to something resembling normality this weekend, I submitted this week’s column too.  You therefore get two updates here today.  Whoop-de-doo, eh? […]

I Sat Through That – 88 Minutes

An absolute masterclass in how not to write a screenplay.  Everything about it is bad.  If you’re a writer, watch 88 minutes and make sure you never do anything like it. It is that bad. 88 Minutes.  It really is bad.

I Sat Through That? – Deep Impact

No, not Armageddon, the other one.  You know, the one with Morgan Freeman as president.  I wonder did they want to see his birth certificate.  In reality, if Morgan Freeman were president and was trying to save the earth from a catastrophic cosmic impact capable of destroying all life, the streets would be full of […]

I Sat Through That? – The Break-Up

I’m not certain why this film affects me so profoundly but it certainly moves something deep within me.  I get angry; really, really angry just by thinking about it.  This film and all of its sullen, bleak baggage upsets the hell out of me and not in a snuffly, Old Yeller, something in my eye, […]

I Sat Through That? – The Lord Of The Rings

Really. I am courting controversy.  I am sacred cow-tipping – sneaking up on it as it sleeps the long, drowsy sleep of the utterly bored and giving it a ruddy good shove.  The cow will emit a torpid, barely audible moo before falling on its bloated, special-edition, extended arse where it will sit lazily without […]

I Sat Through That? – M. Night Shyamalan

I could have taken the lazy way out and written a column on each of three Shyamalan films for the next three weeks but, instead, I’ve done a triple-header.  So, pop over for a. longer than usual, column of Shyamalan bashing – specifically, The Happening, Signs and The Village. I Sat Through That? – M. […]

I Sat Through That? – Unbreakable

I am rather abashed that there is nothing between the post informing you of this week’s column and last week’s post informing you of the, then current, column.  I was having a rainy holiday in the Galway area though so that’s my excuse.  Not that I need to make excuses to the likes of you. […]

I Sat Through That? – Planet Of The Apes

New column available over on Flickering Myth.  This week, Planet Of The Apes.  Not the original, the one where Charlton Heston’s a dead, duplicitous, right-wing monkey with a gun as opposed to – oh, never mind. I Sat Through That? – Planet Of The Apes

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Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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