Downside
Posted on | September 20, 2009 | 6 Comments
I have lost weight. The paunch is gone and, while I’m no ripped, six-packed, hunk, I am, at least, no longer a podgy hunk. I accomplished this feat through my Astonishing Weight-Loss System which is basically not eating so much shit and not drinking so much beer. I wonder if I could pad it out into a self-help book.
Were I to do so however, I would feel it necessary to include a chapter on the downside of losing weight.
I have to go buy new trousers.
All my damn trousers are based around tubby-boy and now look ridiculous, belted tightly around my, newly-discovered, waist. New trousers and new belts are required. I liked some of those trousers. To make matters worse, the event that kicked-off this flab-fighting was having to buy a new suit to go to a wedding. Do you think that big suit’s going to fit me now? It’ll look like clown trousers. I could get some braces and pop a hula-hoop through the belt loops of it.
Weight-loss. Know the risks. Always consult your tailor.
Comments
Gerry Hayes
I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.
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I concur. It’s costing me an arm, a leg and a new wardrobe whilst I’m shifting this weight. Three and a half stone and counting. My already strained bank balance loves it; never before have I seriously thought about festooning bedsheets to cut costs.
Hope the suit fits to some degree.
Well done KatieMc. I doff my fat-guy cap to you and your missing middle. Splendid.
Perhaps we can get together over a non-fat latte and some celery to scoff the scoffing of the newly-thin at some tubby people.
I suppose there is a similar danger with putting on weight.
Damn your logical mind!
Can we throw the celery? With great force? Then I’m in. I’ll drink the latte though, they can’t take that away from me.
Agreed. While fine in veg-base of soups and such, anybody that eats celery as an actual, on-its-own foodstuff is not to be trusted. Like the rice-cake people.