Downside
Posted on | September 20, 2009 | 6 Comments
I have lost weight. The paunch is gone and, while I’m no ripped, six-packed, hunk, I am, at least, no longer a podgy hunk. I accomplished this feat through my Astonishing Weight-Loss System which is basically not eating so much shit and not drinking so much beer. I wonder if I could pad it out into a self-help book.
Were I to do so however, I would feel it necessary to include a chapter on the downside of losing weight.
I have to go buy new trousers.
All my damn trousers are based around tubby-boy and now look ridiculous, belted tightly around my, newly-discovered, waist. New trousers and new belts are required. I liked some of those trousers. To make matters worse, the event that kicked-off this flab-fighting was having to buy a new suit to go to a wedding. Do you think that big suit’s going to fit me now? It’ll look like clown trousers. I could get some braces and pop a hula-hoop through the belt loops of it.
Weight-loss. Know the risks. Always consult your tailor.
Comments
6 Responses to “Downside”
Gerry Hayes
I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.
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September 21st, 2009 @ 0:35
I concur. It’s costing me an arm, a leg and a new wardrobe whilst I’m shifting this weight. Three and a half stone and counting. My already strained bank balance loves it; never before have I seriously thought about festooning bedsheets to cut costs.
Hope the suit fits to some degree.
September 21st, 2009 @ 11:59
Well done KatieMc. I doff my fat-guy cap to you and your missing middle. Splendid.
Perhaps we can get together over a non-fat latte and some celery to scoff the scoffing of the newly-thin at some tubby people.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 21:06
I suppose there is a similar danger with putting on weight.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 21:10
Damn your logical mind!
September 24th, 2009 @ 14:42
Can we throw the celery? With great force? Then I’m in. I’ll drink the latte though, they can’t take that away from me.
September 24th, 2009 @ 14:55
Agreed. While fine in veg-base of soups and such, anybody that eats celery as an actual, on-its-own foodstuff is not to be trusted. Like the rice-cake people.