Get lost, grandad
Today is my birthday. There are many cons. Another year, another hole further on my belt. Another few empty follicles closer to glabreity. Another step away from understanding ‘the youth of today’ and what possible rationale they might have for listening to music through the tiny speakers of their mobile phones (last time on the […]
Well, someone has to do it yourself.
I am DIY-Boy again. The bedroom this time as I continue my quest to make something presentable, and slightly less annoying, out of the odd collection of acute and obtuse angles, shit workmanship and general arse, that the builders piled up and called a house. There is an ulterior motive. The previous owner’s carpet was […]
They were the smallest ears I could find
Now that I am unmasked and no longer anonymous, there is little need for further subterfuge. So then, here I am in all my avatary glory. It was made via this place (which seems to be down at the moment). In reality, I’m not quite so youthful-looking and there is usually more stubble on the […]
What an idea
At last, something useful from Lidl. And what a brilliant thing it is. Lidl are selling this Shower Stool. Behold. This is what I’ve been seeking all these years. Now, when I’m horribly hungover, I can have a refreshing shower while also having a bit of a sit down. Fantastic. This standing-up lark is for […]
Elf ‘n’ Safety
Someone bumped into me in the canteen and sploshed a good portion of my freshly made Earl Grey over the back of my hand. As the only way to properly drink Earl Grey is sans milk, it was pretty damn hot. I now have sore and scalded fingers. While I am tough and manly enough […]
More rambling nonsense
I feel another semi-drunk stream-of-consciousness post coming on. Can’t be good. Really. It’s Saturday night though, you see. My wife has popped off to visit her folks and taken my daughter with her. Free gaff! So I made a (spicy as fuck) chilli for dinner and settled down to have a few beers. After watching […]
Hi-jinks
Pints. Many, many pints. Went to see a Steely Dan tribute band last night. They were actually quite good. All very talented. Went with The Brother and a friend that I hadn’t seen in ages. All thoroughly enjoyable stuff. Pints before. Pints during. Then popped along to a late bar. Discovered that some friends of […]
Beers
Some beers last night with The Brother. A bit shaky now. Is it a bad sign if your urine has the colour and consistency of Lyle’s Golden Syrup?
They’re on to me
I am no longer anonymous. Apparently, some of my mates are aware of my secret identity. They know I blog. I didn’t think that anyone knew except Mrs. Jimmy Page’s Trousers (and she’s never looked as she’s not really sure how to work the Internet). The jig is up and now I feel all self-conscious […]
It’s not weird, is it?
On my desk at home, I have a small battery. Specifically, it’s a CR2430 battery and it’s there to remind me that I need to order one to replace it as it’s worn-out. It’s a shiny, metal disc of just under an inch in diameter. Every time I see it, I really, really want to […]
« go back — keep looking »Gerry Hayes
I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.
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