Stare Into Space

Get lost, grandad

Posted on | October 22, 2008 | 2 Comments

Today is my birthday.

There are many cons.  Another year, another hole further on my belt.  Another few empty follicles closer to glabreity.  Another step away from understanding ‘the youth of today’ and what possible rationale they might have for listening to music through the tiny speakers of their mobile phones (last time on the bus: three different twats, simultaneously sharing three different shrill, tinny, phone-noise songs with the rest of the passengers).  Each day I grow closer and closer to waving a stout walking stick and shouting, “damn kids”.

My hangover recovery time has increased considerably, despite the amount of practice I undertake.  I make a funny grunt/groan when I bend to pick something up.  I no longer have the same disdain for people who ‘garden’. I find myself evaluating flat caps in shops and wondering if it’s too soon.

The pros list is shorter.  I can hang around a shop all day with little regard for the Mosquito device they have installed.

Still though, it is my birthday. I wonder if I can persuade my wife to do that thing I like.


Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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