They were the smallest ears I could find
Now that I am unmasked and no longer anonymous, there is little need for further subterfuge. So then, here I am in all my avatary glory. It was made via this place (which seems to be down at the moment). In reality, I’m not quite so youthful-looking and there is usually more stubble on the […]
What an idea
At last, something useful from Lidl. And what a brilliant thing it is. Lidl are selling this Shower Stool. Behold. This is what I’ve been seeking all these years. Now, when I’m horribly hungover, I can have a refreshing shower while also having a bit of a sit down. Fantastic. This standing-up lark is for […]
I’ve been as busy as some bees
Honestly. Last week I wrote the first draft of a short and, oddly enough, I don’t feel the usual burning shame on considering it. I’m very aware of some rough edges to be knocked off in the rewrites but, overall, I’m actually happy with it. So far. More importantly, for me at least, is that […]
My belly feels funny
How many mini-muffins do you think equal one regular muffin? How many mini-muffins do you think would be too much to eat in one sitting?
A nascent talent
My daughters turned four the other day – a baby no more. She celebrated in fine style with much merriment and sugary treats. She also drew a splendid picture of me. A fine likeness (not that most of you know) and one that now holds pride of place on the fridge door. She’s captured me, […]
Shill: Redux
Yes, I know it’s all slightly distasteful, this shameless self-promotion, but since I last mentioned my request for votes in the Movie Mogul Fund, I have received an email from them that expressly tells me to canvass. They even suggested friends, family and Facebook. I have exactly six friends, my family is dysfunctional in the […]
I receive some small validation
Earlier this year, I entered a short in the British Short Screenplay Competition. In typical fashion, as soon as it was in the post, I began to hate every word that I’d written and immediately went to the garden to cut a switch with which to beat the shame out of myself. I’m actually thinking […]
Shill people, shill like the wind
I have entered the Movie Mogul Fund screenwriting contest. This involved writing a synopsis for the movie I would write (were I to have the chance) based on the logline below. Genre: Black comedy Title: ‘NEGOTIATING LIFE’ “A melancholic life insurance salesman finds his attempts at committing suicide thwarted by his disgruntled customers…” It’s a […]
Gerry Hayes
I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.
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