Stare Into Space

Twitter Archive

Twitter Archive

The Twitter

Last One Out, Please Turn Off The Lights

On the off-chance anybody is wondering, I have said my not-so-fond farewells to Facebook. I’m very aware that there was a mass ‘Leave Facebook Day’ a week or so back but I left a few weeks prior to that. I’m no trend-following sheep – I blaze my own trail. Well, in this case anyway. Facebook, […]

And elves, too.

In which I, mostly, name vegetables.

The character Beenfeeld, that I’m writing for Resonance FM’s Whale In The Room play, is like me in many ways.  One of these, in an odd fortuity, is that he is now growing his own vegetables.  We both have a fine, nascent crop of foodstuffs on the go. I started this veg lark only in […]

In which I receive good news…

…About a slightly odd writing gig. Resonance FM are putting together a new radio play called The Whale In The Room.  Nothing odd about that, you say.  Well, if I told you that the script for this play was to comprise entirely of the Twitter status updates from six different people, you might begin to […]

What? You’re still here?

Too long, man.  Too long. Seriously though.  It has been too long.  In my defence, I’ll simply say that I’ve been busy/lazy.  Only one of these is a half-lie. It’s the Twitter, you see. The Twitter is taking up my time and, more importantly, taking the tiny kernels of ideas, thoughts, whines that I might […]

Goose-stepping, twelve-stepping…*

“My name is Gerry, and…” “Hiiiiiiiii, Gerry.” “Errrm, yeah, hi… Right, My name is… Oh right, done that.  I have a problem.” “That’s the first step, Gerry.  Now all you need to do is to accept that you’re merely a helpless puppet in the palsied, control-freak hands of a higher power and you’re well on […]

Handy, bite-sized chunks

I haven’t posted in a week.  This is, in large part, due to the fact that I quite like having my good news post on the top of the list for any visitors to see (as I strongly suspect that many of you are far to lazy to actually scroll down to see if there […]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Trying out @theTunnelBear so I can browse privately from my ISP. https://t.co/wPwjxzOreO https://t.co/u2V2dv1uCb
    • Proper scientists tell us the most pissed off you get, the more you want to eat all the cakes. Christ, I want cake.
    • Everybody finds Caravaggios but me. Where's my bloody Caravaggio? Lost 'Caravaggio' painting found in French attic https://t.co/llKg3GO7d0
    • No, honestly… I’m not an arsehole. https://t.co/PyGE2lPIXp
    • Go help @Herring1967 disrupt industries and smash systems at https://t.co/4OY0YVcT6C. What an age we live in. Go. Now.
    • I find Tattoo Fixers utterly compelling viewing.
    • Peppa Pig’s vile Animal Caste System continues to disgust me. Condemn this mammal-centric regime! https://t.co/y6uwAMfV2A
    • Frequently wonder what the point of democracy is. Looking forward to the day I can seize power and oversee my Mostly Benevolent Dictatorship
    • Dude… Check it out. I totally swiped his helmet. https://t.co/2PSi0XwqNn
    • I’ve been watching this Disclosure movie. This “virtual reality” thing seems to be the future. I may invest.
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