Stare Into Space

I thought I had more time

Yesterday, my daughter took a cook book from the shelf in the kitchen and sat down in the sitting room to have a look. I went with her. “What’s this?” she enquired. “It’s a recipe book that tells you how to cook things,” I said. “Why?” she asked. She’s still in the why-stage. Inquisitive little [...]

Her father’s daughter

My daughter has been a little uneasy at night of late. She’s normally a pretty good sleepy person but for the last month she’s been a bit troublesome getting settled and shouts for us in the night if she wakes up. The other night, my wife was putting her down but she was not keen [...]

Terrible Twos

It appears that my daughter has well and truly found The Terrible Twos and made them her own. On Monday night, I came home about an hour after my darling daughter’s bedtime and opened the front door to much wailing and screaming. I popped upstairs to see what the fuss was and found my wife [...]

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Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Blog: Phantom Machinations http://t.co/N9yB5H5v
    • Effectively, Bear Grylls has made a career of exaggerating stuff and eating crap that scuttles. He'd clean up on I'm A Celebrity.
    • I do love Bear Grylls' ridiculous hyperbole: "Anyone who underestimates this Death Chasm, will be dead!" It's a bloody kerb, Bear.
    • You don't get much Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich these days. It's all Justin Bieber Feat. Child-Friendly lyrics of Katy Perry now.
    • It was a lot of crisps, to be fair. I feel a little unwell.
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