I Sat Through That? – The Lord Of The Rings
Posted on | September 7, 2009 | 5 Comments
Really.
I am courting controversy. I am sacred cow-tipping – sneaking up on it as it sleeps the long, drowsy sleep of the utterly bored and giving it a ruddy good shove. The cow will emit a torpid, barely audible moo before falling on its bloated, special-edition, extended arse where it will sit lazily without even attempting to get up.
The Lord Of The Rings: corpulent, lethargic, slow-moving, sacred cow. You don’t get that time back, you know. So much precious, precious time (no Golum comparisons intended).
I Sat Through That? – The Lord Of The Rings
Comments
Gerry Hayes
I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.
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I only stomached the first one and that’s because an ex boyfriend of mine wanted to see the second and I felt it only a girlfriend’s duty to catch up. Plus it’s the pains of being a scriptwriter and seeking solace that films can do continuity just right. It bored me to actual sleep. I remember getting so angry watching 12 or 13 Oscars going to the collection of films and writing a rant on my emotionally fuelled online journal at the time.
I salute you in wasting your time, but I agree that you should by rights demand it back.
Hurrah! Thank you, KatieMac for your kind words.
Seeing all three of these is enough to make your gall bladder explode, taking out everyone in a fifteen feet radius. Count yourself lucky. ;-)
Hmmm, exploding gallbladders could be just the thing this season. I hate to say it but I felt the same way about Inglourious Basterds… not to the point where I was bored to actual sleep but just in general a lazy “meh” erupted from my broken gallbladder.
I realise I may encounter some wrath from people about that comment about the aforementioned film, but if I could re-direct people’s anger to a small child located near them it may make them think twice. And give me plenty of time to peg it.
I still haven’t seen ‘Inglorious [GUNFIRE masks the word so the kiddies don’t hear – won’t somebody please think of the children] Basterds’. I have the sense that I could well go the same way – I tend to have a pretty ‘meh’ response to Tarantino too.