Stare Into Space

I Sat Through That? – The Lord Of The Rings

Really. I am courting controversy.  I am sacred cow-tipping – sneaking up on it as it sleeps the long, drowsy sleep of the utterly bored and giving it a ruddy good shove.  The cow will emit a torpid, barely audible moo before falling on its bloated, special-edition, extended arse where it will sit lazily without [...]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Two pizzas is too much.
    • Last night, a bloke entered pub toilet, unbuttoned his fly and had a wee all one-handed as he texted with the other. We live in the future.
    • Blackbird making nest in my back yard. Soon I shall steal its eggs and devour their soft-boiled souls.
    • Can I get a grant to research snoozing? The money will go towards tea, biscuits and one of those blankets with sleeves.
    • IT WILL ALL HURT by Farel Dalrymple is a thing of strange and wonderful beauty http://t.co/3fal3O0r
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