Stare Into Space

The rules to gig-going coolness.

The live music experience is a complex social environment.  Forget about your years of torment at the hands of the cool kids in school – veteran gig goers will roll their eyes and nudge their mates if you fail to conform to a thin line of cool.  Scratch that, it’s actually if you do conform […]

Bad news for the Chickens

Despite what I said below, in a politician-like U-turn, Mrs. Jimmy Page’s Trousers now seems much less convinced about the plight of the chickens and the benefits of buying something that hasn’t lived in a vast warehouse, wobbling on its feeble little legs lest it plonk down and burn its arse on its own and […]

Chicken bandwagon

Huge Firmly-Witterstein has been on the telly for the last two nights showing the masses the horrors of battery chickens and the nasty life they have before they end up in our pots and our poo. Many probably knew this already but fair play to him for trying his best to get people to take […]

Isn’t Erdinger lovely?

Isn’t it though? In all of it’s delicious and different guises. Yummy. I’ve had some. Tasty, scrumptious nectar. Erdinger. Yummy, yummy Erdinger. If the Erdinger people are reading and want to present me with some sort of promotional package, they can reach me at trousers (at) If they’re not though, I and I realise […]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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