Stare Into Space

Healthy, Wealthy and Wise

I am certainly not one of those things. The other two are reasonably debatable too. What I am is a, reborn, early-riser. I am up and about before even the sluggard larks have bothered stretching their sleepy wings and hopping out of their cosy nests. Lazy lark bastards. It pains me greatly that the beginning [...]

Short Story: Divination

I’ve gone and done a flash fiction. Actually, it’s the flashiest of flash and is massively little. Divination is published over at Ink, Sweat and Tears. As you’ve come to expect, it’s a little peculiar but, on the plus side, it is quite short. It’d be nice if you could pop off to read it. Then, [...]

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Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Personally, I like awards shows but then I've always been interested in lists of people and organisations to which celebrities are grateful.
    • When I am President For Life, anyone putting 'fancy' toppings on their pancakes will be shipped to toil ironically in the Jif Lemon mines.
    • Jesus would have been pleased to see all Twitter come together through the pancake, the foodstuff Satan tried to tempt him with.
    • And don't give me any of that savoury crêpe hoo-ha. Anything more than a squirt of Jif Lemon is unmanly.
    • Pancakes: one of the very few foods that can't be improved by the addition of chilli.
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