And elves, too.
Sly
As part of a captive audience at Disneyland Paris, we had limited choice when it came to eating. This limitation is what found me dining in Planet Hollywood. I’d never eaten in Planet Hollywood before but was relatively sure of what to expect. Mediocre food and loads of movie tat on the walls I thought [...]
Surviving Walt
Made it through my second Disneyland Paris tour of duty. You can forget about firemen or soldiers fighting wars – until you can face down a huge, trundling, simpleton of a woman trying to push her way through the crowds to be at the front for when Pooh Bear’s float goes by, you don’t know [...]
The place where dreams are manufactured
As long as they’re plastic dreams, wrapped in sparkly cynicism and tied with a big, money-grasping, bow. Yes, I’m off to Disneyland Paris. Four glorious days of that rictus rodent gurning and waving with his podgy, gloved hands at me. Four days of Heston Blumenthal prices for sub-fairground fast food. Four days of educationally sub-normal [...]
In which I, mostly, name vegetables.
The character Beenfeeld, that I’m writing for Resonance FM’s Whale In The Room play, is like me in many ways. One of these, in an odd fortuity, is that he is now growing his own vegetables. We both have a fine, nascent crop of foodstuffs on the go. I started this veg lark only in [...]
Gerry Hayes
I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.
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