Goose-stepping, twelve-stepping…*
Posted on | February 12, 2009 | 8 Comments
“My name is Gerry, and…”
“Hiiiiiiiii, Gerry.”
“Errrm, yeah, hi… Right, My name is… Oh right, done that. I have a problem.”
“That’s the first step, Gerry. Now all you need to do is to accept that you’re merely a helpless puppet in the palsied, control-freak hands of a higher power and you’re well on the way.”
“Wooooah, woah. Higher power? I’m pretty high on the atheistic scale.”
“That’s ok. We just want you to turn your will and your life over to the care of god as you understand Him.”
“As I understand him? But I understand him to be a wholly imaginary construct, only valid in the ignorant infancy of our species and utterly superfluous to any reasonable, rational and non-stupid civilisation in an age where science and, lets face it, common-sense prevails.”
“What? But… That’s not the way to wellness.”
“Huh”
“Well, can’t you just pretend – like all the losers forced to come here by the courts.”
“Arse. “
“But the steps?”
“Arse to the steps. Arse, I say.”
While I may be on my fifth pint as I write this, I’m relatively certain that I don’t have any sort of serious alcohol problem. I can stop any time I want, honest. I do, however, seem to have developed a weird addiction for Twitter. I’ve been ‘tweeting’ for a while now and I realise that I’ve been neglecting this blog for ‘The Twitter‘.
Sad? Probably. Truth is, I am relishing the ‘micro’-blogging that Twitter allows. And, oddly enough, the last couple of months have seen a spate of celebrity Twitter incursions. Twitter has hit the mainstream. Perhaps that’s reason enough for those of you reading this not to bother with it. If, however, that hasn’t deterred you, do feel free to ‘follow’ me – Gerry Hayes on Twitter
I know it’s sad. I have no defence for that.
.
*A prize (well, more kudos really) to the first one that recognises the reference.
Comments
Gerry Hayes
I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.
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Oh gosh, how many pints did you have in the end? I haven’t got a clue about the reference, there’s a song by the Shins about goose-stepping but I doubt that’s what you mean.
Hope the burger helped your poor head! ;-)
12 steps towards recovery method as implemented by the god squad and the current pope used to be a nazi.
Best I could come up with.
A Matter Of Life and Death?
Yes – I agree about twitter – me too. There is something quite appealing at only having 140 characters to fill – and you can send links too – much better.
There’s a definite Nick Cave deficiency in you lot.
It’s from ‘God Is In The House’ on the album ‘No More Shall We Part’. A sublime album and a wonderful introduction to Cave for the uninitiated. Go now – get Caved-up. It makes sense. Don’t wait any longer.
Here, have a listen to it. Then go and acquire the album through whatever means you usually employ.
http://tinyurl.com/c8h5wq
Ha, great song that!
Huh! There goes me trying to be all clever with my clever film refs! Not.
Sorry, RM. We don’t do clever round these parts.
Caught A Matter of Life and Death at the Irish Film Institute a few months back. Nice to see it on the big screen (except for that French dandy – he should only ever be B&W and small screen – far too scary when he’s twenty feet tall).
Your higher being is a tweet?