Stare Into Space

Mulling: The Future Of Facebook

I’ve been considering Facebook lately. I’m not certain why but it’s been on my mind. Mainly, I’ve been considering its future and wondering if it has much of one. Certainly, half a billion users is nothing to be sneezed at and few could argue with Facebook’s current clout in the Internet world but still I […]

Calling all geeks! Calling all geeks!

Come in geeks. I’m in need of geekly assistance for I am suffering my own geek-fail.  Mayday!  Mayday! Why do you say ‘Mayday?’ It’s only a bank holiday. Why not ‘Shrove Tuesday’ or ‘Ascension Sunday?’  Ascension Sunday! Ascension Sunday! The fifteenth Wednesday after Pentecost. [That's how to get geeks on-side - quote Red Dwarf.] My […]

It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year…

…Not really, of course.  It’s just Christmas. That being the case however, it seems traditional to offer some sort of Yuletide greeting to people – even weird, internet strangers who, more than likely, are reading this naked, smeared in goose-fat while performing strange, unsavoury acts with Toblerones and turkey-basters. So then, filthy internet-people, have yourselves […]

What? You’re still here?

Too long, man.  Too long. Seriously though.  It has been too long.  In my defence, I’ll simply say that I’ve been busy/lazy.  Only one of these is a half-lie. It’s the Twitter, you see. The Twitter is taking up my time and, more importantly, taking the tiny kernels of ideas, thoughts, whines that I might […]

Goose-stepping, twelve-stepping…*

“My name is Gerry, and…” “Hiiiiiiiii, Gerry.” “Errrm, yeah, hi… Right, My name is… Oh right, done that.  I have a problem.” “That’s the first step, Gerry.  Now all you need to do is to accept that you’re merely a helpless puppet in the palsied, control-freak hands of a higher power and you’re well on […]

Meet the new blog, same as the old blog

It’s new and yet it’s not… Well, it is… Kind of. Welcome to Stare Into Space. All new domain name.  All new, and completely original, look (see how it sparkles).  Same old dull content.  I am style above substance; form above function.  I am the lipstick on the pig. Basically, my old blog was of […]

Heels: Dragged

I am the quintessential procrastinator.  That Hamlet bloke has nothing on me.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I know I should be doing something a little more worthwhile (relatively speaking at least) and yet I don’t. Instead I do other things.  I drink lots of tea.  I stare out of the window for […]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Injury has left me unable to operate modern technology. Had to hire an intern to take photo and type this tweet. http://t.co/mvqKocmube
    • Sliced off chunk of thumb while sharpening knife. I prefer ironic injuries.
    • Had forgotten how bloody loud the score is in Hammer’s 1958 Dracula. Neighbourhood children all cowering in their beds.
    • Read back through my stream and still astonished I’m not getting paid for this solid gold. Maybe someone can do a kickstarter or something.
    • Wife and daughter out. New Kid a bit unwell and fell asleep early. I’m all confused. I don’t know what normal people do before 9pm.
    • There’s a bawdy Pedro account. I’m so conflicted. “@PedroBitches: Only shots I take is heroin into my cock-veins.”
    • #peppapig Pedro Pony broke his leg. It’s in a cast and he’s in hospital. I’m explaining to the children that, in real life, he’d be shot.
    • #TheWolfman is deeply awful but at least Hugo Weaving speaks slowly and smugly with impeccable diction. That never gets old, does it?
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