Christmas Past
As the wind hurls its more miserable and wetter brother, the rain, against my attic windows, I sit and consider the Christmas season just passed. All in all, it wasn’t too bad.
A rather splendid Christmas dinner at my in-laws began the Christmas Waist Expansion in earnest. Over the next few days, much beer was consumed [...]
The Day After Christmas
It is the day after Christmas and I’m in a bit of a weird mood. I suspect one of two things:
My spleen has secreted excess humour – a black bile if you will – that has brought on a bout of melancholia.
I’m getting fed up with the Christmas experience of staying at my folks.
This leaves [...]
It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year…
…Not really, of course. It’s just Christmas.
That being the case however, it seems traditional to offer some sort of Yuletide greeting to people – even weird, internet strangers who, more than likely, are reading this naked, smeared in goose-fat while performing strange, unsavoury acts with Toblerones and turkey-basters.
So then, filthy internet-people, have yourselves a merry [...]
Par-rump-a-pum-pum
Time once again to celebrate the feast of the Christus, or the birth of Cliff Richard, or whatever it is that forces us to spend daft money on daft gifts for daft friends and relatives. I’m planning the traditional Christmas of gorging myself on carbohydrates and dead birds (and the flesh of miscellaneous other animals), [...]
Gerry Hayes
I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.
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