Stare Into Space

Never Say Monday Again

INT.  HAYES MEGALOMANIACAL GLOBAL DOMINATION HQ – MORNING GERRY, a ruggedly handsome, goatee-sporting rake in his 30′s (just), strides purposefully into the dispatching chamber. He stands at the bottom of the murder platform and crosses his manly arms. GERRY So, Monday... We meet again. MONDAY, strapped to the murder platform and whimpering like a girl, [...]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Effectively, Bear Grylls has made a career of exaggerating stuff and eating crap that scuttles. He'd clean up on I'm A Celebrity. Feb 5th
    • I do love Bear Grylls' ridiculous hyperbole: "Anyone who underestimates this Death Chasm, will be dead!" It's a bloody kerb, Bear. Feb 5th
    • You don't get much Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich these days. It's all Justin Bieber Feat. Child-Friendly lyrics of Katy Perry now. Feb 4th
    • It was a lot of crisps, to be fair. I feel a little unwell. Feb 3rd
    • A 150g bag of salt & vinegar crisps is too much to eat in one sitting, right? Even with beer. Feb 3rd

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