Stare Into Space

Toast: An Insight To The Mind

Posted on | December 2, 2012 | 2 Comments

Time and again, proper science research has shown that you can tell a lot about a person’s character by how they butter their toast. Typically, the shy and retiring scientists have always chosen to shun the limelight and this research has languished in dusty, though worthy, tomes in The Big Library Of Science.

Until now.

I’ve read extensively on the subject and will attempt to distill the knowledge from this—admittedly vast—field into layman-friendly sound-bites.

All of the toast buttered with no bare toast evident: Careful and methodical while at the same time creative and artistic; highly intelligent; a leader of men; not mental; generally very attractive.

Butter smeared in slap-dash fashion with swathes of toast unbuttered: Hippy slacker; slow-moving and slow-thinking; probably smells of unpleasant stuff; harbours ill-conceived dissident ideas; likely to be dangerous if not so ploddingly lazy.

Look to your breakfast companion. Look into their mind.

Comments

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

More information...
  • Slavishly Follow Me

  • The Twitter

    • Trying out @theTunnelBear so I can browse privately from my ISP. https://t.co/wPwjxzOreO https://t.co/u2V2dv1uCb
    • Proper scientists tell us the most pissed off you get, the more you want to eat all the cakes. Christ, I want cake.
    • Everybody finds Caravaggios but me. Where's my bloody Caravaggio? Lost 'Caravaggio' painting found in French attic https://t.co/llKg3GO7d0
    • No, honestly… I’m not an arsehole. https://t.co/PyGE2lPIXp
    • Go help @Herring1967 disrupt industries and smash systems at https://t.co/4OY0YVcT6C. What an age we live in. Go. Now.
    • I find Tattoo Fixers utterly compelling viewing.
    • Peppa Pig’s vile Animal Caste System continues to disgust me. Condemn this mammal-centric regime! https://t.co/y6uwAMfV2A
    • Frequently wonder what the point of democracy is. Looking forward to the day I can seize power and oversee my Mostly Benevolent Dictatorship
    • Dude… Check it out. I totally swiped his helmet. https://t.co/2PSi0XwqNn
    • I’ve been watching this Disclosure movie. This “virtual reality” thing seems to be the future. I may invest.
  • Categories

  • Archives