Stare Into Space

Do you think I can get a research grant?

Posted on | November 26, 2007 | 2 Comments

I’ve had a nasty cough and a cold for the last couple of weeks.  Bit bunged up and I’ve snorted enough Vicks Sinex that I’m sure my nostrils resemble Amy Winehouse’s.  In an effort to get rid of this nasty ailment, I’ve taken to drinking a considerable amount of beer every evening for the last four days.  My reasoning is that I’ll make my body so inhospitable a place to live that the cold germs will hitch their little wagons and move on to some tea-total bloke.

So far it seems to be working.  I’m feeling less bunged up and coughing less. A further bout of intensive research over the next few days will confirm my initial, empirical findings, but I think you can expect to see me published in the next issue of The Lancet.

No cure for the common cold indeed.

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Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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