Stare Into Space

It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year…

…Not really, of course.  It’s just Christmas.
That being the case however, it seems traditional to offer some sort of Yuletide greeting to people – even weird, internet strangers who, more than likely, are reading this naked, smeared in goose-fat while performing strange, unsavoury acts with Toblerones and turkey-basters.
So then, filthy internet-people, have yourselves a merry [...]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • "Dad, I'm going to need new underpants." Not what a parent wants to hear from daughter in bathroom.
    • I appear to be developing Runner's Feet. Not pretty. Also, erstwhile Sedentary Me is deeply concerned that I'm developing runner's anything.
    • BIG (Had a look and can't believe nobody's gone for that)
    • "Call a doctor, I'm lovesick… Yeow!" The Jonas Brothers' juggernaut rolls on, crushing lesser lyricists under its mighty figurative wheels.
    • Showered, eaten a soggy scone and had tea. The horrors of the torrent are behind me. This day can do no more to me. [Taunts the fates]
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