Stare Into Space

B-U-S-T-E-D

Last night, my daughter, now four, asked me, “why do you and mum sometimes talk with letters and not words?” The jig’s up.  She might not be able to spell, but she knows that something’s going on and gets all watchful and sneaky. A new system is required.  I’m for Pig-Latin. Afty-cray ittle-lay rat-bay.  Ix-nay [...]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Two pizzas is too much.
    • Last night, a bloke entered pub toilet, unbuttoned his fly and had a wee all one-handed as he texted with the other. We live in the future.
    • Blackbird making nest in my back yard. Soon I shall steal its eggs and devour their soft-boiled souls.
    • Can I get a grant to research snoozing? The money will go towards tea, biscuits and one of those blankets with sleeves.
    • IT WILL ALL HURT by Farel Dalrymple is a thing of strange and wonderful beauty http://t.co/3fal3O0r
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