Stare Into Space

In which I, mostly, name vegetables.

The character Beenfeeld, that I’m writing for Resonance FM’s Whale In The Room play, is like me in many ways.  One of these, in an odd fortuity, is that he is now growing his own vegetables.  We both have a fine, nascent crop of foodstuffs on the go. I started this veg lark only in […]

In which I receive good news…

…About a slightly odd writing gig. Resonance FM are putting together a new radio play called The Whale In The Room.  Nothing odd about that, you say.  Well, if I told you that the script for this play was to comprise entirely of the Twitter status updates from six different people, you might begin to […]

BBC Writing Workshop

I was too tired and lazy to write anything about this yesterday but, if you’ll remember, I was in London for a couple of days to attend a writing workshop with the Beeb. Looking back, the whole thing’s just a whirlwind of planes, dodgy hotels, writing and ladyboy escorts.  I turned up at the Beeb […]

Radio, what’s new?

I’ll have some stuff on Recorded For Training Purposes on BBC Radio 4 at 11PM tonight (Thursday). Erm… that’s it really. Sooooo… You like sports? Right, yeah… No, me neither.   Ok then, bye.

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Trying out @theTunnelBear so I can browse privately from my ISP. https://t.co/wPwjxzOreO https://t.co/u2V2dv1uCb
    • Proper scientists tell us the most pissed off you get, the more you want to eat all the cakes. Christ, I want cake.
    • Everybody finds Caravaggios but me. Where's my bloody Caravaggio? Lost 'Caravaggio' painting found in French attic https://t.co/llKg3GO7d0
    • No, honestly… I’m not an arsehole. https://t.co/PyGE2lPIXp
    • Go help @Herring1967 disrupt industries and smash systems at https://t.co/4OY0YVcT6C. What an age we live in. Go. Now.
    • I find Tattoo Fixers utterly compelling viewing.
    • Peppa Pig’s vile Animal Caste System continues to disgust me. Condemn this mammal-centric regime! https://t.co/y6uwAMfV2A
    • Frequently wonder what the point of democracy is. Looking forward to the day I can seize power and oversee my Mostly Benevolent Dictatorship
    • Dude… Check it out. I totally swiped his helmet. https://t.co/2PSi0XwqNn
    • I’ve been watching this Disclosure movie. This “virtual reality” thing seems to be the future. I may invest.
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