Stare Into Space

I Need Some Time Alone

I think future generations will not know how to be alone*. I’m relatively certain that’s a rare enough skill now but, next time you’re out for a drink, keep an eye on any pair of people in the pub. When one leaves to use the bathroom or queue for a pint, the person left behind [...]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Personally, I like awards shows but then I've always been interested in lists of people and organisations to which celebrities are grateful. Feb 21st
    • When I am President For Life, anyone putting 'fancy' toppings on their pancakes will be shipped to toil ironically in the Jif Lemon mines. Feb 21st
    • Jesus would have been pleased to see all Twitter come together through the pancake, the foodstuff Satan tried to tempt him with. Feb 21st
    • And don't give me any of that savoury crêpe hoo-ha. Anything more than a squirt of Jif Lemon is unmanly. Feb 21st
    • Pancakes: one of the very few foods that can't be improved by the addition of chilli. Feb 21st

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