Middle-aged
I am no longer a young man. I’ve been aware of this for some time but it is occasionally driven home to me. Like now. Two beery nights and I’m a floppy, husk of a man. Two nights with too little sleep and too much beer and I look like the long-dead corpse of a [...]
Lard-ass
I am on a diet. Really. Having to buy a new suit so I could get tarted up for a wedding a week or so ago was the final straw. I have declared War On Tubbiness. The paunch must go before it gets to that critical mass where I’m just to damn lazy to do [...]
Par-rump-a-pum-pum
Time once again to celebrate the feast of the Christus, or the birth of Cliff Richard, or whatever it is that forces us to spend daft money on daft gifts for daft friends and relatives. I’m planning the traditional Christmas of gorging myself on carbohydrates and dead birds (and the flesh of miscellaneous other animals), [...]
Gerry Hayes
I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.
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