Stare Into Space

Your Opinion Does Not Matter

I have just read a news story on the BBC’s site.  As you can see, it’s linked but for those of you too lazy to bother clicking through, the condensed version is ‘according to a YouGov poll, 69% of people questioned want live voting to alter storylines in TV shows’. People want to have a [...]

You damn kids

Well, my CBBC thing has been pummelled and kicked into something resembling a script shape.  It’s in the envelope and will be away in the morning. Definitely an interesting experience writing for 8 to 12 year olds.  So many things to consider.  So many pitfalls.  Plenty of other bloggy people have very kindly posted their [...]

In which I receive good news…

…About a slightly odd writing gig. Resonance FM are putting together a new radio play called The Whale In The Room.  Nothing odd about that, you say.  Well, if I told you that the script for this play was to comprise entirely of the Twitter status updates from six different people, you might begin to [...]

BBC Writing Workshop

I was too tired and lazy to write anything about this yesterday but, if you’ll remember, I was in London for a couple of days to attend a writing workshop with the Beeb. Looking back, the whole thing’s just a whirlwind of planes, dodgy hotels, writing and ladyboy escorts.  I turned up at the Beeb [...]

Helen’s update

I’m only posting because Helen insisted I update my blog.  Who does she think she is with her bloggy demands?  She reads and reads and reads but never comments.  Are you happy now, Helen?  Are you happy to have me dance to your whims?  Dance, monkey, dance. In non-Helen related news, I’m all packed for [...]

I should probably get a cat

Can’t really stand the little feline bastards but, as I’m off to London, it seems that a proficient ratter is a necessity.  A half-decent, rat-catching moggy and I can be mayor, just like Boris Johnson.  I’ve read it somewhere.  I don’t think it needs thigh-high boots like that Puss-In-Boots which is a pity – a [...]

I’m on the wireless*

* In the days before Web 2.0 and Twitter and such, the wireless was what old-timers called the radio** ** In the days before DAB and podcasts and such, the radio was a device that sat on your kitchen windowsill and received crackly broadcasts of news, The Archers and popular music of the day. Anyway, [...]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Two pizzas is too much.
    • Last night, a bloke entered pub toilet, unbuttoned his fly and had a wee all one-handed as he texted with the other. We live in the future.
    • Blackbird making nest in my back yard. Soon I shall steal its eggs and devour their soft-boiled souls.
    • Can I get a grant to research snoozing? The money will go towards tea, biscuits and one of those blankets with sleeves.
    • IT WILL ALL HURT by Farel Dalrymple is a thing of strange and wonderful beauty http://t.co/3fal3O0r
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