Stare Into Space

Your Opinion Does Not Matter

I have just read a news story on the BBC’s site.  As you can see, it’s linked but for those of you too lazy to bother clicking through, the condensed version is ‘according to a YouGov poll, 69% of people questioned want live voting to alter storylines in TV shows’. People want to have a […]

You damn kids

Well, my CBBC thing has been pummelled and kicked into something resembling a script shape.  It’s in the envelope and will be away in the morning. Definitely an interesting experience writing for 8 to 12 year olds.  So many things to consider.  So many pitfalls.  Plenty of other bloggy people have very kindly posted their […]

In which I receive good news…

…About a slightly odd writing gig. Resonance FM are putting together a new radio play called The Whale In The Room.  Nothing odd about that, you say.  Well, if I told you that the script for this play was to comprise entirely of the Twitter status updates from six different people, you might begin to […]

BBC Writing Workshop

I was too tired and lazy to write anything about this yesterday but, if you’ll remember, I was in London for a couple of days to attend a writing workshop with the Beeb. Looking back, the whole thing’s just a whirlwind of planes, dodgy hotels, writing and ladyboy escorts.  I turned up at the Beeb […]

Helen’s update

I’m only posting because Helen insisted I update my blog.  Who does she think she is with her bloggy demands?  She reads and reads and reads but never comments.  Are you happy now, Helen?  Are you happy to have me dance to your whims?  Dance, monkey, dance. In non-Helen related news, I’m all packed for […]

I should probably get a cat

Can’t really stand the little feline bastards but, as I’m off to London, it seems that a proficient ratter is a necessity.  A half-decent, rat-catching moggy and I can be mayor, just like Boris Johnson.  I’ve read it somewhere.  I don’t think it needs thigh-high boots like that Puss-In-Boots which is a pity – a […]

I’m on the wireless*

* In the days before Web 2.0 and Twitter and such, the wireless was what old-timers called the radio** ** In the days before DAB and podcasts and such, the radio was a device that sat on your kitchen windowsill and received crackly broadcasts of news, The Archers and popular music of the day. Anyway, […]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Proper scientists tell us the most pissed off you get, the more you want to eat all the cakes. Christ, I want cake.
    • Everybody finds Caravaggios but me. Where's my bloody Caravaggio? Lost 'Caravaggio' painting found in French attic https://t.co/llKg3GO7d0
    • No, honestly… I’m not an arsehole. https://t.co/PyGE2lPIXp
    • Go help @Herring1967 disrupt industries and smash systems at https://t.co/4OY0YVcT6C. What an age we live in. Go. Now.
    • I find Tattoo Fixers utterly compelling viewing.
    • Peppa Pig’s vile Animal Caste System continues to disgust me. Condemn this mammal-centric regime! https://t.co/y6uwAMfV2A
    • Frequently wonder what the point of democracy is. Looking forward to the day I can seize power and oversee my Mostly Benevolent Dictatorship
    • Dude… Check it out. I totally swiped his helmet. https://t.co/2PSi0XwqNn
    • I’ve been watching this Disclosure movie. This “virtual reality” thing seems to be the future. I may invest.
    • I know it’s January but I just noticed Santa’s expression. He seems to have been caught in the act of something. https://t.co/O9MD0ze1UQ
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