About Me

I used to write stuff and send it to strangers so they could scoff at my efforts. Now I mostly just drink tea while considering minor past glories.

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In the prehistory of our species, my work has appeared on (or in):

• The Whale In The Room – 10 x 10min play – Resonance FM (co-writer)
• The Man-Eating Beast Of Wimbledon Common – Dominic Stinton directed short film (contributor)
• On The Case – Short film (Writer)
• Recorded For Training Purposes – BBC Radio 4

My prose-type stuff has been here:

• The Problem With LEDs – Metazen Christmas Book and webzine
• Original Sin – Metazen webzine
• Divination – Ink, Sweat and Tears
• In The Belly Of The Whale – Scholck Magazine

Also, I have managed to blag my way into the following:

• Red Planet Prize 2008 – Finalist
• Movie Mogul Fund 2008 – Finalist
• British Short Screenplay Competition 2009 – Quarter Finalist
• British Short Screenplay Competition 2008 – Quarter Finalist
• Rouge Wave Short Scene Competition – Winner

Somehow, too, I succeeded in duping the BBC into inviting me to their BBC Comedy Writing Workshop a couple of years back. This is mainly useful for dropping, “Oh, yes, well when I was at the Beeb…” into coversation.

And I wrote a bundle of articles for this place before missing a deadline because of an emergency and then forgetting to email to apologise until it reached the point where I was far to embarrassed to ever email again:

• Flickering Myth – Movie Blog and home of (among other things) my movie-rant archive where I mainly just bitch about films.

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and deride my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.