Stare Into Space

Attention Dog-Owners

I’m not sure if I’ve said this before—it’s certainly something I’ve threatened offline. Dog-owners: I am going to start carrying a disposable rubber-glove in my pocket wherever I go. When I see you out walking your dog and pausing to let that dog shit on the footpath, I’m going to pop on the glove, pick [...]

A Nice Cup Of Tea And A Book: The City And The City

I want to be careful to avoid spoilers here. Perhaps I’m just hopelessly ill-informed but I came to The City and The City without knowing what it was all about. Because of this I was able to discern the arena of the book gradually. And Miéville does draw that arena carefully and naturally. There’s no [...]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Personally, I like awards shows but then I've always been interested in lists of people and organisations to which celebrities are grateful.
    • When I am President For Life, anyone putting 'fancy' toppings on their pancakes will be shipped to toil ironically in the Jif Lemon mines.
    • Jesus would have been pleased to see all Twitter come together through the pancake, the foodstuff Satan tried to tempt him with.
    • And don't give me any of that savoury crêpe hoo-ha. Anything more than a squirt of Jif Lemon is unmanly.
    • Pancakes: one of the very few foods that can't be improved by the addition of chilli.
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