Stare Into Space

BBC Writing Workshop

I was too tired and lazy to write anything about this yesterday but, if you’ll remember, I was in London for a couple of days to attend a writing workshop with the Beeb. Looking back, the whole thing’s just a whirlwind of planes, dodgy hotels, writing and ladyboy escorts.  I turned up at the Beeb [...]

Helen’s update

I’m only posting because Helen insisted I update my blog.  Who does she think she is with her bloggy demands?  She reads and reads and reads but never comments.  Are you happy now, Helen?  Are you happy to have me dance to your whims?  Dance, monkey, dance. In non-Helen related news, I’m all packed for [...]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Last night, a bloke entered pub toilet, unbuttoned his fly and had a wee all one-handed as he texted with the other. We live in the future.
    • Blackbird making nest in my back yard. Soon I shall steal its eggs and devour their soft-boiled souls.
    • Can I get a grant to research snoozing? The money will go towards tea, biscuits and one of those blankets with sleeves.
    • IT WILL ALL HURT by Farel Dalrymple is a thing of strange and wonderful beauty http://t.co/3fal3O0r
    • Have pulled muscle in my neck. Now moving about like some poorly-made robot.
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