Stare Into Space

Meet the parents

Breakfast at my parent’s house.  I think I fancy a boiled egg and some toast. Then I remember… A few months back, the small pot, the one that was perfect for boiling an egg, disappeared.  “Oh that’s gone” was the response I got when I asked.  No elaboration.  How can a pot just be gone?  [...]

I’m on the wireless*

* In the days before Web 2.0 and Twitter and such, the wireless was what old-timers called the radio** ** In the days before DAB and podcasts and such, the radio was a device that sat on your kitchen windowsill and received crackly broadcasts of news, The Archers and popular music of the day. Anyway, [...]

I can stop any time I like

Perhaps foolishly, I bought my wife a Nintendo DS thing for Christmas.  Since then, she’s been getting pretty full-on with the whole Nintendo thing but she was, at least, keeping it under control.  Then, last night, I did a favour for a friend and, in return, he gave me a cartridge thingie with a shit-load [...]

Peer pressure

It seems that everyone else is doing it.  Round-ups of the previous year seem to be de rigueur.  Personally, I’ve never cared for them or, indeed, any new year shenanigans.  I’m not really one for the new year thing – arbitrary day after all. That said, I’m the bitch of peer pressure.  So then, daah, [...]

Gerry Hayes

Gerry Hayes

I mostly sit around all day and drink tea. Occasionally, I write stuff and send it to strangers so they can humiliate me and debase my efforts. Other than the self-harm to dull the shame of failure, it's not a bad life. Like I say, there's tea.

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    • Last night, a bloke entered pub toilet, unbuttoned his fly and had a wee all one-handed as he texted with the other. We live in the future.
    • Blackbird making nest in my back yard. Soon I shall steal its eggs and devour their soft-boiled souls.
    • Can I get a grant to research snoozing? The money will go towards tea, biscuits and one of those blankets with sleeves.
    • IT WILL ALL HURT by Farel Dalrymple is a thing of strange and wonderful beauty http://t.co/3fal3O0r
    • Have pulled muscle in my neck. Now moving about like some poorly-made robot.
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