Stare Into Space

Green and Bipolar

Gerry — Sat, 04 May 2013 22:04:11 +0000

HULK TIRED. HULK NOT SLEEP.

GRRR. HULK ANGRY. HULK SMASH. SMAAAASH.

OOOH, BALL. PLAY BALL WITH HULK. YAY, HULK HAPPY.

HULK FALL DOWN. NOW HULK SAD. NO BALL. NO BALL.

SMASH.

GRRR, SMASH.

(Parenthood)

The Venn Diagram of Wretchedness

Gerry — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 09:46:56 +0000

Ghost Clock

Gerry — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 23:28:55 +0000

Some kitchen alterations meant we had to move the wall clock.

Now, though, bloody muscle-memory means I never have a clue what time it is as I keep staring, in confusion, at a bare wall. It’s been more than a month and there’s no sign I’ll adjust.

I wear a watch. In every other room I look at my wrist if I want to know the time. That never even occurs to me in the kitchen.

Toast: An Insight To The Mind

Gerry — Sun, 02 Dec 2012 10:50:08 +0000

Time and again, proper science research has shown that you can tell a lot about a person’s character by how they butter their toast. Typically, the shy and retiring scientists have always chosen to shun the limelight and this research has languished in dusty, though worthy, tomes in The Big Library Of Science.

Until now.

I’ve read extensively on the subject and will attempt to distill the knowledge from this—admittedly vast—field into layman-friendly sound-bites.

All of the toast buttered with no bare toast evident: Careful and methodical while at the same time creative and artistic; highly intelligent; a leader of men; not mental; generally very attractive.

Butter smeared in slap-dash fashion with swathes of toast unbuttered: Hippy slacker; slow-moving and slow-thinking; probably smells of unpleasant stuff; harbours ill-conceived dissident ideas; likely to be dangerous if not so ploddingly lazy.

Look to your breakfast companion. Look into their mind.

IMG: Fly, My Pretty

Gerry Hayes — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 10:10:20 +0000

Posted remotely by electronic trickery and magick, possibly involving cats’ souls.

Fry-Up Filled Idiot In The Mist

Gerry — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 22:07:37 +0000

This was my view when I got up yesterday morning.

Pretty cool, eh? Well, until you remember that I then needed to pack up a tent and make my way up into that fog. For a second, bloody, day.

I was out in the hills with the brother and a mate. Rucksacks crammed with sleeping bags, too much food, and a couple of sneaky beers to put the night in. Not a very long hike but thick fog and strong wind made for reasonably tough going. What should have been around a five-hour walk probably ran about six hours as most of it was navigated by compass only,

Luckily we were camping below cloud-level. Even threw together a hearty campfire. Splendid.

Day two was much the same conditions for most of it. A rough section with no trails proved heavy going in that same fog and wind. About half-way through the walk, the clouds broke up a bit and the sun came out a bit. So pleased was I to be able to stow my woolly hat that I neglected to replace it with my sunhat so I’ve now got a bright red bonce. Silly, that.

Burny head aside, it was a great couple of days in the hills.

It also included what was likely the best breakfast-roll the world has ever seen. Oh, yes.

IMG: Woooo, Spectrefish.

Gerry Hayes — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:38:47 +0000

Posted remotely by electronic trickery and magick, possibly involving cats’ souls.

I am a chef

Gerry Hayes — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 15:51:35 +0000

If you mix these two things together, it’s freaking delicious smeared on a ham and cheese sarnie. Take that, Ramsey, you great burke.

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What’s Wrong With You People?

Gerry — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 17:31:51 +0000

Not just today or even this week. Most searched keywords on my site EVER. They’re always there.

Seriously, it’s not right.

A splendid day…

Gerry Hayes — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 17:56:24 +0000

…For a stroll in the hills. It didn’t even rain, oddly enough.

Posted remotely by electronic trickery and magick, possibly involving cats’ souls.