Stare Into Space » Writing

Short Story: Original Sin

Gerry Hayes — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 12:36:01 +0000

My short story, Original Sin has been published on Metazen and is currently available to read.

I’d like it if you could take a look.

You can read it here.

If you like short/flash stories, you should definitely subscribe to Metazen as there’s always lots of consistently good stuff there.

I’m off to find a corner in which to curl up.

Never Say Monday Again

Gerry Hayes — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:01:40 +0000

INT. HAYES MEGALOMANIACAL GLOBAL DOMINATION HQ – MORNING

GERRY, a ruggedly handsome, goatee-sporting rake in his 30’s (just), strides purposefully into the dispatching chamber. He stands at the bottom of the murder platform and crosses his manly arms.

GERRY

So, Monday... We meet again.

MONDAY, strapped to the murder platform and whimpering like a girl, looks up with tears in his annoying eyes.

MONDAY

What? Do you expect me to be fun? Is that what you expect?

GERRY

No, Monday. I expect you to die.

Gerry nods hunkily to a technician who turns to a console and twiddles knobs. A laser COUGHS and SPLUTTERS, emitting a weak, stuttering beam of light before extinguishing completely.

GERRY

Oh for fuck’s sake-

The laser suddenly leaps back into life. Radiation gets all stimulated and emitted, amplifying light and heading straight for Monday’s crotch. Monday looks worried – like some little bitch or something.

Gerry smiles an evil, yet charmingly attractive, smile. His muscular legs walk his buff torso up the exit ramp. He laughs as he goes.

MONDAY

If I fail to report, Tuesday will just take my place.

Gerry stops short. His attractive face scrunches (strikingly) with awful realisation.

GERRY

Shite!

The Problem With LEDs

Gerry Hayes — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:18:38 +0000

My itty-bitty bit of flash fiction, The Problem With LEDs, has been published over at Metazen.

It will also appear in the Metazen Christmas Story Book which is being sold for charity. If you pop over and donate more than 15 Canadian dollars (via PayPal) on Metazen, you will receive a printed copy of the book. Smaller donations receive a PDF version of the book. All of the proceeds are donated to the Sunrise Children’s Villages Charity in Cambodia so you get a snazzy book and help a good cause. Everyone’s a winner.

British Short Screenplay Competition

Gerry Hayes — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:38:26 +0000

I’ve just heard that my short, WILL, has made it through to the next round of the BSSC.

Hurrah for me.

Last year, I made it this far but no farther. I think it’s a better effort this year so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Oh, and hurrah for me.

Nobody likes a smartarse penguin

Gerry Hayes — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:49:44 +0000

The penguins glare at me from the shelf.

A dozen of them, maybe more. They glare and chatter in that penguiny way they have.

“We have classics,” they gloat, “many, many classics. Great works; wonderful, worthy works full of magnificent, moving, powerful prose. Prose that changed the world, that shaped imaginations and perceptions and lives. Prose that touched people, that inspired, provoked and incited them. Wonderful words that people have read and read and carried with them a lifetime.”

They add, slowly for emphasis, “we have beauty.”

The penguins wait, making sure it sinks in.

“And what do you have?” they ask. “What do you have but an inferiority complex and a bunch of scoffing, anthropomorphised, flightless birds?”

I have no answer.

Bastard penguins.

I Sat Through That? – M. Night Shyamalan

Gerry Hayes — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 09:48:45 +0000

I could have taken the lazy way out and written a column on each of three Shyamalan films for the next three weeks but, instead, I’ve done a triple-header. So, pop over for a. longer than usual, column of Shyamalan bashing – specifically, The Happening, Signs and The Village.

I Sat Through That? – M. Night Shyamalan.

Incidentally, it seems that my fingers believe there to be an extra ‘P’ in the word ‘triple’. Every time I type it, I always put in an extra P – it comes out as tripple and I have to backspace to correct it. I may have to write to the Merriam-Webster people.

I Sat Through That? – Planet Of The Apes

Gerry Hayes — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:02:57 +0000

New column available over on Flickering Myth. This week, Planet Of The Apes. Not the original, the one where Charlton Heston’s a dead, duplicitous, right-wing monkey with a gun as opposed to – oh, never mind.

I Sat Through That? – Planet Of The Apes

Column: I Sat Through That? – Castaway

Gerry Hayes — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 06:15:07 +0000

Yeah, yeah, it’s got Tom Hanks in it – doesn’t mean it can’t be bad. Look at The Da Vinci Code. Hanks is fine in a Hanksy sort of way – he’s fat, he’s thin, he’s beardy, he’s clean-shaven, he’s the man of a thousand faces and bellies. Castaway is still a bit pants though.

I Sat Through That? #5 – Castaway on Flickering Myth

I Sat Through That? – Meet The Parents

Gerry Hayes — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 07:15:30 +0000

Possibly a controversial one this week as, for reasons utterly unfathomable to me, many people seem to think Meet The Parents is frickin’, head-falling-off, hilarious.

It’s not.

This week’s I Sat Through That is now available.

I Sat Through That? – I, Robot

Gerry Hayes — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 08:05:46 +0000

I, Robot? No beer? That’s not a recipe for a good evening. Unless you like complaining, that is. Guilty.

In this week’s I Sat Through That? I consider I, Robot. You know the one. Yeah, the one with all the ads in it. It’s got that Will Smith in it. Yeah, him. The ‘welcome to earth’ guy. Sticky-out ears. That’s him. Hancock. Hmmm, maybe that’s one for another day.